I am trying something a little different on the blog front today.  Namely, I am writing a sort of personal diary-type entry that I initially took a hardline NO stance on including on this blog.  I guess things can change, amiright?

I know that I have been noticeably absent on this space this month, and I don't have any good excuse for it other than that I have been feeling completely uninspired and unenthused.  Part of that has been due to exams and health reasons (I am not sure I want to talk about them on this blog at this time, but perhaps I will share later), and part of that has been due to well...lack of inspiration.

Of course I have my go-to, must-read blogs that I have checked in with periodically.  For the most part, these blogs continue to inspire or at least put a smile on my face in an otherwise excruciatingly boring everyday routine.

However, when it comes to my own blog, it's like my brain just goes pfffftttt and completely empties itself of every and any creative impulse. What I am about to say now is probably going to be a bit of an unpopular opinion and may even sound a bit non supportive to others in the blogging community.  But I feel like if I am ever going to pick things back up on this space (which I ultimately do want to do), it needs to be said.

I am 99% sure that my lack of enthusiasm for all things blog is due in large part to the nature of the game.   I am a member of a few Facebook groups for bloggers.  The point of these groups is to network with other bloggers and, of course, promote one's own work.  Awesome right?  It really is at its core!  However, recently I have been struck by the sensation that each and every thing I see promoted is completely devoid of originality while being camouflaged as OMGGROUNDBREAKING information.  Do I really need tips for finding the perfect flip flops for the beach?*  Is really OMGSOINSPIRING to find lip gloss for summer?*

*Actual content has been changed for anonymity, but the vibe is more or less the same.

I can't help but be struck by the fact that all of the content appears to be exactly. the. same. How on earth can one person grow or get noticed when there are literally 19,342 other bloggers producing the exact same content?  The mere thought is quite intimidating, and honestly makes me feel like there isn't any room for little old me in the Big Bad Blogging Game.  This thought has forced me to revisit 1. why I am doing this and 2. if I even want to continue.

Of course, the answers to these questions are that 1. I want to have a creative outlet to share my inspirations and experiences and 2. yes, I do want to continue, but I don't like the competitive jungle that blogging has become.  In some ways, it can remind me of a popularity contest of sorts; a concept that has always repulsed me.

A little more on point 2:  I feel like there are so many rules when it comes to using social media, growing on social media, etc. etc.   Is it OK to use a bot? Or is it not? (You guys know my stance on this by now; I am not exactly shy about it).  Use an Instagram pod! DON'T use an Instagram pod because they're bad!   Etc. Etc.  So much advice, so little time.  Sometimes, I get the impression that certain bloggers approach their work as if they were shilling for some type of MLM as opposed to creating for the joy of creating. Of course, it is fun to share one's work.  Of course, the whole point of creating is for others to enjoy it. But I find it particularly disheartening when I see that the MLM-type bloggers often tend to be quite successful.  I find that approach to be so painfully inauthentic that I fail to understand the appeal in it for others.

So, instead of creating, I find myself spinning my wheels and staying in one place.  And when I'm not doing that, I find myself in a general state of feeling unenthused.  What do exactly I have to say that is so new and different?  Nothing really, if I'm honest.  What is so interesting about my life that it warrants sharing with the world? (This, if we are being real, is the main issue at hand).  As of right now...things are kind of boring around here. At least I think so.  So perhaps that just means it is on me to make life more interesting, not just for the sake of the blog, but for my own sake as well.

I am not sure why I am posting these ramblings on a Sunday night for the world to read, but here they are.  I suppose I feel like my general attitude and absence have become a sort of elephant in the room on this space, and I feel a bit awkward just jumping back into things without at least acknowledging the bit of writers blog that has been going on over here.

With those thoughts shared, so concludes this rambling, photo-less post.  Back to our regularly scheduled programming next time.

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